remember when I used to make sense? →
what the hell happened.
The scientist keeps the romantic honest and the romantic keeps the scientist...– TOM ROBBINS
eighties fan | camera obscura you say your life...
starting late; finishing early
and I thought I was a commitment-phobe! thank god I am not a lesbian and can always fall back on the “guess he only wanted to fuck me” assumption. cause you know, no one ever tells me otherwise, they want so much for me to think I’m right.
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for...– CHARLES BUKOWSKI
Anonymous asked: What about friends with benefits?
I forget how the beginning of the joke goes but...
Elliot: LOLOLOL my facebook news feed is so great right now. at the top there is this huge paragraph a friend wrote about this canadian politicians death, and how we should heed his words of hope yadda yadda
Elliot: and right below it is
Elliot: April > Zain
April Lulabee: ¯\(º_o)/¯ THAZ ME
Elliot: couldnt have had better timing
April Lulabee: that was when zain and I were watching simon birch
April Lulabee: and his roomate had the room right by the tv
Elliot: i think you told me this story
April Lulabee: and simon birch was DYING
April Lulabee: we were about to cry!!!
April Lulabee: but all of a sudden we hear the loudest and most uproarious fart ever from behind his roomate's door
April Lulabee: and just look at each other and start crackin up
Elliot: fuckin simon birch
April Lulabee: and SIMON BIRCH WAS DEAD
April Lulabee: but we were only crying from LAUGHING SO HARD
April Lulabee: his other roomates came in and saw us writhing around on the couch in uncontrollable fits of laughter
April Lulabee: and were like, "YA'LL IZ MESSED UP. YOU TOUCHED IN THE HEAD. THAT LITTLE RETARD BOY IS DEAD AN YOU LAFFIN N SHIT. S'FUCKED UP."
Elliot: i think this might be the third time ive heard this story
Elliot: which means you mustve liked it a lot
April Lulabee: actually I am just copying and pasting from the first time I told you
April Lulabee: I like it so much
I really want to go back to chicago. it’s the only place I’ve ever lived where I got to spend all my time with boys who never wanted to fuck me and someone even made a missed connection about me. in hindsight, I wish I had screenshot it instead of just copying and pasting into my myspace blog. haha. myspace. anyway, although the dude is not someone I would have wasted another second...
once you are loved your life is no longer your own
these thoughts do not stem from being alone. they are created from the exhaustion you feel when you see that there are people all around you who will never know you and who you will never know and then (as if that feeling wasn’t shitty enough) your hopelessness is exacerbated with the sudden realization that you don’t want to know them and you don’t want them to know you. I...
TODAY IS THE 10,000TH DAY OF MY LIFE!! →
and I’m having a party…I wish you all could come
steven smith | the organ come on let’s go...
You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such...– CARL SAGAN
she lives in the building across the street. we’re on the fifth floor and she’s on the third, but you can’t really tell the difference. sometimes she’ll write notes for me on her window, which I can see through my binoculars, and once dad and I spent a whole afternoon trying to design a paper airplane that we could throw from our apartment into hers. the doorman stood in...
makes me dream of better men, with better reasons
Elliot: man you really do move on quickly huh
April Lulabee: I have to
April Lulabee: everyone is pretty much full of shit
April Lulabee: they just talk about me being pretty or having great tits/ass
April Lulabee: a magical vagina
Elliot: so many magic vags
Elliot: its hard to keep track
April Lulabee: so they never seem very substancial themselves
April Lulabee: like if that's all they can see of me
April Lulabee: why give them so much credit when they can't even convey they're worth a damn through their words and actions
Elliot: maybe thats just the male hard-wire
Elliot: i dont even know, ive lost all objectivity
April Lulabee: it's not
April Lulabee: I'm not like that
April Lulabee: I don't think, WOW HE WOULD BE A GREAT PROVIDER
April Lulabee: HE WOULD KNOCK ME UP REAL GOOD WITH THAT PROVIDING
Elliot: WOMEN, AMIRITE
April Lulabee: or whatever the stereotypical girl equivalent to THAT ASS BANGIN' GURRRL is
Elliot: nah thats probably it
April Lulabee: I have no idea? it's money, though, right?
Elliot: but like, maybe we're just exceptions to the norm
Elliot: maybe a lot of people DO think like that
April Lulabee: but why can't there be more exceptions
Elliot: i dunno
Elliot: bad genes
Elliot: i read one profile and they were all "Dont even bother messaging me if youre not 6'"0' or taller" and i was like.... r..really?
April Lulabee: I meet lotsa awesome guys who I know would be awesome friends
April Lulabee: but they express an interest in me and then they become fixated
April Lulabee: on mammalian flesh
April Lulabee: it's like
April Lulabee: are you kidding me?
April Lulabee: it's painful :(
Elliot: i hear you
April Lulabee: like someone seeing only one small freckle on your entire face
Elliot: but at least you get the positive reaction? i dunno
April Lulabee: positive?
Elliot: well like, the inverse is they could think youre ugly as hell
April Lulabee: but I'm really not THAT attractive so if STILL that's all there is to me...I mean, don't you see how awful that is? they never feel anything for me besides the warmth of blood rushing to their crotch
Elliot: at least they feel SOMEthing, is i guess my point as depressing a point as it is, i suppose
April Lulabee: as opposed to this ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DBuTHr4SQw&feature=related
in a jar | dinosaur junior please come pat me on...